So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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