are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
