I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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