I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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