P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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