If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
