Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
