Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
