i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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