i barfeds in our rink
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
