We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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