his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
