You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
