i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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