omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He shit in the fireplace
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
