I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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