I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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