I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
