This girl is more easily done than said...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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