Only a mothe r could love this liver
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
