I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
