I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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