come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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