Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
