If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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