I just made out with a guy for $7.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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