some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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