I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
