That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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