I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
