Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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