brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I woke up under a house in Key West
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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