You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize