It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
