I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
