you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize