something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
