he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
my liver is dry heaving
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
