It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
