my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
