Pappa wants mamma naked
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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