why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
