At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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