if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So here I am, sexting at work.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
