I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm getting married
To pizza
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
