i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
