I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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