i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
