Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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