We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize