I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he fucked my hip out of place.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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