Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
