Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
