2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
