I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
