Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
