it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
