check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
