I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
