Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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