There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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