oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
