he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize