I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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