There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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