I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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