my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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