You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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