Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
