i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize