i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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