Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
