I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
