I don't usually arrange sex via text message
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
